Loneliness is one of the most profound experiences，The fact that there is an unable to cross between the individual and other lives。The awareness of loneliness will cause strong existence anxiety，Owen Yalong regards it as one of the driving force for psychological pathology。

The reason why loneliness is unbearable，The first is to associate with death。Loneliness means isolation。Man is a social existence，Without any connection, it represents a certain degree of death。At the same time，Death itself is the most lonely experience of people。When the death is approaching，Individual instinctively seek any possible dependence and care，Care in the general sense is not helpful。In order to cope with loneliness caused by death，Many people suddenly become extremely devout before dying。This is because of the relationship with "coming" to save them from the nothingness of "the end of all possibilities"，Not only does it deny that life is an accidental fact，Also denied loneliness。Followed by its contact with freedom。Freedom means self -assertion，Choose and bear responsibility。The experience of freedom makes people realize that it has built its own world，Then I realize that from beginning to end, I am facing the whole life。Individual escape freedom，To avoid the helplessness that is accompanied by loneliness。

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Lonely as one of the characteristics of human existence，It shows a tension structure，People want to escape but cannot escape。The survival pressure of modern society is constantly driven to make people enter a lonely situation，bet365 live casino games Makes people aware of loneliness、Feeling lonely anxiety。

ROAS thinks，Modern society is a acceleration society。He refined many phenomena in modern society into three acceleration aspects: First, use production、Transportation、Information communication and other purpose -oriented technology acceleration; the second is the past、The effectiveness of the future is constantly decreasing，Social changes accelerated by the "atrophy of the present"; the third is to objectively manifested as an increase in the number of transactions within the unit time、Subjectively experience the acceleration of the rhythm of life with scarce time。These three acceleration orientation are competitive and competition、Three external motivation of functional differentiation and culture，Finally evolved into three aspects of mutual promotion、cycle。This is the real limit of real limitations people facing。Acceleration logic with time system、Time specifications to limit people's freedom，Disguised as a natural law to threaten people's survival。All behavioral choices of people are to add and subtract in different limited conditions，Accelerating the compulsory nature of society forced people to enter the lonely scene。

People are emotionally pursuing equal results。Under the pressure of jealousy and survival，People actively enter or passively involved in accelerating society，Experience three different levels of loneliness。First is psychological loneliness。Rosa describes the result of the forced results as "people voluntarily do things they don't want to do"，It is also called alienation。Want to survive，I have to function myself，Participate in social division of labor。Social acceleration does not leave too much time for bet365 live casino games individuals，Under the pressure, people hurriedly make a choice，As a result, the individual suppresss his true wish。The acceleration of technology has also changed the state of people's "existence in the world"。Transportation acceleration，Space is located in time。We are accustomed to the time spent by taking transportation instead of measured A、The distance between the two places。Space no longer shows us，I no longer assume part of myself。"Where to come from" is no longer important，Everywhere is the same strange。Production acceleration，Makes the item no longer assume part of the self。We have no time，I have no patience to familiarize themselves with their own items; people change the new for the old，New items have no meaning。Discovery of modern people，Under excess productivity, I can't find a symbol that can represent myself，So it is more and more obsessed with commodity consumption behavior。People are in a "no relationship"。It does not matter if it doesn't matter, you define loneliness，But this loneliness is psychological loneliness，People finally lose their self。

Followed by interpersonal loneliness。Accelerated development and wide use of information communication technology，Make people around us may not be our closest person，Our closest people may not be by our side。The popularity of information communication technology has led to "‘ alone ’together’ ”。Sometimes，People can actively express their views and opinions on the Internet，Chat with friends、Publish a love package for each other，But when it comes to offline, I carelessly。People's dependence on online communication makes offline communication without motivation and topic，Online social networking has almost become a fertilizer Bet365 lotto review for loneliness (including psychological loneliness)。other，The huge liquidity of modern society makes people have no time and energy to understand each other。People hurriedly meet，Hurry up to separate，The emotions between people have disappeared before precipitation。Human emotions need precipitation，Accelerating society is like a centrifugal accelerator，People will be thrown to the edge of the vortex，Forced to be superficial。Therefore，The so -called "rational" choice tells people to invest appropriately，so as not to extricate，This makes interpersonal relationship tools。Interpersonal relationships float on the surface，Emotions cannot precipitate in my heart，The sense of alienation between people will gradually become obvious。

Finally, there is loneliness。The existence of loneliness and interpersonal loneliness sharing a boundary; the existence of loneliness does not depend on whether there is another person present，But there is loneliness to be lonely without others。When people are alienated from each other，The facts of lonely and the consciousness of this fact will naturally present。"Being Consciousness" is one of the prerequisites for the existence of loneliness，The intensity of loneliness and anxiety depends on the degree of human solution。Death and freedom also makes the existence of loneliness obvious。No one can eliminate the death of another person。Facing the limitation of social acceleration，People must find a way to find a position in society under the pressure of survival; and the price of freedom，"Going to Familiarity"，After removing "fantasy and light"，Finally realized that I am a "outsider"。

　　How to relieve loneliness

Although loneliness cannot be eliminated as a established bet365 best casino games fact，But people have never been able to exist alone，The only way to relieve loneliness and anxiety is to establish a relationship。Loneliness is the price of growth。Rank regards the growth process as a separation process、Personalized process。The individual starts with the full dependence of the mother，Step by step to clarify its own boundary，Finally growing into an independent individual。This boundary has since isolated others，The individual can no longer return to the previous "symbiosis" state。Therefore，People must first realize that they can never return to the past，This separation means that people can only face loneliness alone。

How to face loneliness and bearing loneliness is important，This is the premise of establishing a relationship。If you collapse in loneliness，The relationship becomes a means to avoid loneliness，Either it becomes part of others，Either make others become their own tool。This unequal relationship makes loneliness more difficult to be understood，People have also lost the opportunity to relieve loneliness and anxiety。Human beings face the situation of loneliness，Only standing in this situation，We can feel the fear of the deep inside of others，Facing loneliness can make one and another be deep、meaningful connection。

The key to facing loneliness is that being able to accept loneliness cannot escape、Can't eliminate this fact。This requires a kind of courage。Not as simple as a cavity，Instead, you need a "life to die"。Loneliness is as inevitable as death。When a person really recognizes that the inherent shackles cannot be lifted，Inxious anger has become a kind of power。So people began to seek establishment relationship。First is the relationship between Bet365 lotto review people and things。People play their own creativity，Change the world，A relationship with the world through labor。This relationship affirms the creative power of people，Let people feel their own value。Followed by people and mysterious forces to associate，If you can establish a relationship with "perfect" and "eternal"，Loneliness naturally disintegrate。But the most important thing is that people establish a relationship。The first two faced "unknown"，"Unknown" has its rules; but people are uncertain，This uncertainty is the charm of interpersonal relationships。Only people can set themselves to understand each other's loneliness。Common suffering makes the connection between people and people more effective、Tightly。Uncertainty of the other party's reaction，Let people gradually recognize the equality between people，Aware of the freedom of both parties，I learned to be able to "separate" while "associated"，This is growth。

Effective interpersonal connection is a good medicine to alleviate loneliness and anxiety。Irvin Yalom (Irvin Yalom) proposes "relationships and cure everything" in his treatment theory，The characteristic of the good relationship is "Nothing"。In short,，The establishment of the relationship is equal communication between two subjects，It is the relationship between "I -Ru" in Bubber，It is also Rosa's resonance relationship; and the relationship between "request" is the subject of the subject's use of the object。Establishing relationship is also a process of active giving，In the words of Flom, you are understanding、Care、The premise of respect "love" a person。This is a creative process。For Maslow，Only in the process of self -realization can people play this creative power，The "love" of the Bet365 app download self -actuality is the result of the need to be satisfied by the need for growth。Self -implementing person itself is a motivation，He will not rely too much on others。Therefore，This "love" is like a cup filled with water，is a self -overflow process。This also shows，Only inner integration、Under the premise of being able to be alone，Only to establish a good relationship。

　　(Author Unit: Department of Education, Department of Education, Yunnan Normal University)