"Family of Origin" is an important concept in marriage and family treatment，refers to a family born and growing up。The TV series "It's OK" made the term "native family" popular on the Internet，Some people complain about "parents' disaster"，Complaining that the native family destroys self that should have been better，I feel that all the negative mentality in their lives is caused by the parenting method of self -righteousness。Of course, a person and his native family are all thousands of contacts，For some people，The influence of native families may also continue for a lifetime，So what is the mechanism of the acting family? Behind the "arrogant" of parents in the native family，Is there a deeper social structure and cultural reasons? How can we get out of the shadow of the native family，What about establishing a healthy native family?

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The core point of the theory of native family is，In the process of getting along and interacting with their parents，It has formed some more stable ways to cognitive world and mode of associated with others，Then affect the social psychological ability after adulthood，That is, the individual handles people and yourself in daily life、Ability between foreign objects，Including emotional management、Interpersonal communication、Self -cognition、Social adaptation four core abilities，For example, I don’t understand the face of others、Have nothing to say with your parents、I always feel that I am not as good as others、Always patience，These four performances with lower capabilities。

Touring，Most home theory (including native family theory) stems from traditional psychoanalysis school。Freud believes that if a trauma occurs in childhood，It will suppress it to the subconscious of the individual，Methods that individuals cannot know，It has a long -lasting bet365 live casino games impact on it。Perspective of combined with humanism，The main reason for childhood trauma is physiological needs (such as hunger、Sleeping) and some higher -level needs (such as security、Love and belonging、respect, etc.) Failure to be satisfied。These requirements，Especially high -level psychological needs such as "sense of security"，Only through the native family can be met in childhood。If these needs cannot be met for a long time，The lack of psychological feelings may accumulate into trauma，Effect on individual growth。And the earlier the childhood trauma，The more serious the psychological problems that occur after adulthood。

How to shape the child's social psychological ability，What will have a lasting impact on the individual? The effect of the native family is not the existence of someone or a simple incident，It is essentially because of a long -term behavioral method of parents of the native family，May potentially cause some kind of trauma，Then it affects a certain or certain type of social psychological ability，For example，Parents have been abused their children for a long time，Make your child's self -cognitive ability problems，It is expressed as extremely unconfident in life。And this long -term behavior mode is concentrated in the parent's education method，So education method is the core cause of the native family effect。

Parenting style is a behavioral mode of teaching and support for parents during the growth of children，Including two dimensions of emotional participation and discipline。Emotional participation refers to the process of parents in the process of raising their children，Whether to meet the needs of the child as much as possible，Follow and emotional response to children，Whether it often shows positive、A positive emotion。Disciplinary methods have purpose -oriented，refers to whether parents have developed higher standards for their children，Strict discipline of children，Still let the child be indulgent。Diana Baumrind proposes four kinds of education according to Bet365 lotto review these two dimensions: special breaks、authoritative type、Ignore type、Ignore type。Disciplinary parental discipline methods are strict，but lack of emotional response; authoritative parents will become a role model for children，Emotional acceptance and warmth; indulgence parents love their children，Insufficient discipline; Live -type parents and children interact very few interactions，I often ignore the children、Don't ask。Different education methods may have a profound impact on the social psychological ability of the individual，This is the main mechanism and path of the role of native family。

The native family has a positive side of children，The children trained by authoritative parents are full of happiness and high self -esteem，I will be more mature when I grow up，It is also easier to obtain academic and career achievements。But there will be some negative effects in the native family，For example, the special -type parents will make their children easily shrink and be full of hostility，Children in indulgent families are easy to impulsive，Strong dependence。In real life，Most family education methods are mixed，The interactive mode between parent -child continuously adapts and adjusts，The negative effect will also be diluted with the growth process，It may not cause traumatic effects。But what needs to be particularly emphasized is，Few children growing up in extreme families will have the possibility of leaving psychological trauma。For example, parents have completely ignored their emotions in childhood、Abuse (body abuse、mental abuse, etc.) will cause the individual's social psychological ability to be seriously damaged，It can even cause individuals to suffer from mental illness disease。So，The urgent need to pay attention to the children of these extreme native families，Psychological assistance to them in time、Treatment of psychological trauma，Avoid them from hurting themselves or hurting others。

　　Cultural and social factors behind the native family mode

Regardless of good and Bet365 app download disadvantages，The native family mode is not isolated、Occasionally，In the education method, whether it is emotional participation or disciplinary method is not determined by the parents' mind，The result of the common shape and restrictions from factors such as culture and social structure。

In terms of emotional participation，European European believes in "original sin theory"，I think life is guilty，So children are not worthy of their parents' love。There are also children's views like "Mother Mother more"。In today's culture, we more advocate the "unconditional love" children's view of children，Even in the only child culture, six adults surrounded by a child's doting。Another，From the perspective of evolutionary psychology，All the psychological and behavioral characteristics of the individual are to achieve the purpose of survival and reproduction。Live in a turbulent or poor family，Often adopt "Multi -Choosing Nursing" "Finding Quality" "Quick Decisions"，Parents may allocate limited resources to more likely to survive、Hea healthy、More promising children，3771_3791。In this family，The number of children has diluted the emotional participation of the parents，In particular, the emotional participation of children who have not been selected may be very scarce。Family with a stable and rich living environment，will form a "slow decision" that improves gene quality，They will give children more resources、More love and encouragement。So what kind of emotional participation the parents will adopt are not exactly their independent choice，It is also subject to the shape of the cultural and social environment。

For disciplinary methods，Sociologist Discovery，Parents of different social classes not only have the emphasis on education in their children's training、Differences in academic counseling ability and home -school relations，Also follow different cultural logic。For example, the parents of the middle group family are used to the habit of their own professional characteristics，Bet365 lotto review Adopt "self -oriented" personality training orientation，Pay more attention to cultivating children's creativity、Curiosity、Quality of autonomy and self -control of doing things，Most of the encounters to encourage appreciation、Democratic negotiation and persuasion and persuasion to discipline their children; and parents of low status group families often emphasize the orientation of "obey external authority"，Pay attention to obedience、Shouji、Honesty、Personal Quality，Treating children at the same time will use more commands、Punishment and rejection method。At the same time，In the training strategy，Middle group families tend to adopt the method of collaborative training，Planning to arrange children to participate in various official activities with organizations，such as sports and entertainment，less time watching TV and free to play，Active intervention of children's growth、Thoughtful plan，I hope to control the entire growth process as much as possible。and the lower status group family children are in a state of natural growth，The spare time is mainly free to play。Although there may not be absolute differences of advantages and disadvantages，But these differences reflect the different thinking methods and concepts of different groups，It also causes the native families of different groups to have obvious differences in the disciplinary behavior mode。

　　Going out of the native family trouble

Current attention to native families，strengthened the society's emphasis on children's psychological state，Avoid a new generation of parents from adopting extreme education methods to cause psychological trauma children，But the role of excessive generalization and exaggeration of native families is never desirable。Most native families do not have a decisive significance to the development of a person，Many factors will also have important impacts。For example, enter school，The teacher becomes the "second parent" of the child; in adolescence，The effect of the companion bet365 best casino games is increasingly significant，This will make up for bad native families。After adulthood，getting along with your partner, although it may be engraved with the native family mode，But the partner is more likely to form some new intimate relationship mode，If it is properly handled, you will get another perception love、Learning Love、Give the opportunity to love。

People are not passive recipients of the environment，but the active actor of fate。How to face the native family，More on the role of "I"。The inspiration of psychotherapy is，Treatment does not have to intervene in external intervention，If individuals can realize where trauma is，Corresponding psychological problems can also heal。For example，Not the incident has caused bad consequences，Instead, the individual's adverse cognition of the event has caused bad consequences。In the TV series "All Good", Su Mingyu felt that his parents did not buy review materials for themselves when they were young (A)，So you do not have to be responsible for your parents (C1)，Generally, we all think that event A causes results C1，But in fact it may be the belief that parents do not love themselves (B1), which leads to results C1。If you can find a new belief，If my father loves me，Because he has no money (B2)，or Mother's cultural level is limited，I didn't realize the importance of reviewing materials to me (B3)，New non -destructive results may appear。The adverse effects of many native families are caused by adverse cognition。If you appropriately change your way you know people and things，You can get out of the shadow of the native family。

Discussion on native families is useful，Let us know more clearly that the family environment needs to be operated，What kind of education mode is more desirable。We should look at the native family more rationally，Although the impact of native families cannot be underestimated，But not all of them are negative。The previous generation was subject to their time，We shirk all the problems to our parents will not only be not conducive to the solution of the problem，and it is extremely unfair。bet365 Play online games Let's think about it carefully，We will also find that our flash points often have the shadow of parents。Create a healthy native family view，Reasonable analysis、Frequent self -introspection、Active solution is the attitude we should have to have the problem; let ourselves grow、Record with yourself，The best parent in the child's native family，This is the only choice for getting rid of the trouble of native family。

　　(Author Unit: Department of Sociology, Fudan University; Department of Psychology, Fudan University)