“bet365 champions league of origin” is an important concept in marriage and bet365 champions league therapy，refers to the bet365 champions league in which the individual was born and grew up。The TV series "Everything Is Fine" made the term "original bet365 champions league" popular on the Internet，Some people use this to complain that "parents are a disaster"，Complaining about the bet365 champions league of origin ruined the better self，I feel that all the negative attitudes in my life are caused by my parents’ self-righteous parenting style。Of course there are inextricable connections between a person and his bet365 champions league of origin，For some people，The influence of the original bet365 champions league may last a lifetime，Then what is the mechanism of the original bet365 champions league？Behind the "arrogant behavior" of parents in the original bet365 champions league，Are there any deeper social structural and cultural reasons？How should we get out of the shadow of our original bet365 champions league，Establishing a healthy view of the native bet365 champions league？

　　Upbringing style is the core cause of the original bet365 champions league effect

The core point of the bet365 champions league of origin theory is，Children in the process of getting along and interacting with their parents，Having formed some relatively stable ways of perceiving the world and interacting with others，In turn, it affects the social and psychological abilities in adulthood，That is, individuals deal with people and themselves in daily life、The ability to relate between external objects，Including emotion management、Interpersonal communication、Self-knowledge、Four core abilities of social adaptation，For example, you can’t read other people’s faces、I have nothing to say to my parents、Always feel that I am inferior to others、Always swallow your anger，Respectively are the manifestations of these four lower abilities。

Looking back，Most bet365 champions league therapy theories (including bet365 champions league of origin theory) originate from the traditional psychoanalytic school。Freud believed that if trauma occurs in childhood，It will be suppressed into the individual’s subconscious，In a way that the individual cannot know，Have a lasting impact on it。Incorporating a humanistic perspective，The main cause of childhood trauma is physiological needs (such as hunger、Sleep) and some higher-level needs (such as security、Love and Belonging、Respect, etc.) was not met。These requirements，Especially high-level psychological needs such as "security"，In childhood, satisfaction can only be obtained through the bet365 champions league of origin。If these needs cannot be met for a long time，The missing psychological feelings may accumulate into trauma，Influence on individual growth。And the earlier the childhood trauma occurs，The more serious psychological problems appear in adulthood。

How does the native bet365 champions league shape children’s social and psychological abilities，And then have a lasting impact on the individual？The effect of the bet365 champions league of origin is not the existence of a certain person or simply something happening，The essence is because of some long-term behavior of the parents in the original bet365 champions league，Potentially causing some kind of trauma，In turn, it affects one or more types of social psychological abilities，For example，Parents abuse their children for a long time，Problems with children’s self-awareness，Extreme lack of confidence in life。This long-term behavior pattern is concentrated in the parenting style of parents，So parenting style is the core cause of the original bet365 champions league effect。

Parenting styles are the behavior patterns of parents in teaching and raising their children as they grow up，Including two dimensions: emotional involvement and discipline style。Emotional involvement refers to the process of parents raising their children，Whether you try your best to meet the needs of your children，Give your child attention and emotional response，Do you often show positivity、A positive emotion。Discipline is purpose-oriented，Refers to whether parents have set higher standards for their children，Strict discipline for children，Still indulgent to the children。Diana Baumrind proposed four parenting styles based on these two dimensions: Authoritarian、Authority type、Indulgent type、Neglect type。Autocratic parents have strict discipline，But lack of emotional response；Authoritative parents will become role models for their children，Emotionally accepting and warm；Indulgent parents love their children more than they should，Insufficient discipline；Neglectful parents have very little interaction between parents and children，Often ignore children、Indifferent。Different parenting styles may have a profound impact on an individual’s psychosocial abilities，This is the main mechanism and path for the original bet365 champions league to function。

The native bet365 champions league has a positive influence on children，Children raised by authoritative parents are full of happiness and high self-esteem，You will become more mature when you grow up，It is also easier to achieve academic and career achievements。But there are also some negative effects in the native bet365 champions league，For example, authoritarian parents will make children prone to withdrawal and hostility，Children from indulgent families are prone to impulsivity，Strong dependence。In real life，Most bet365 champions league parenting styles are mixed，The interaction pattern between parents and children continues to adapt and adjust to each other，The negative effects will continue to be diluted as the growth process，May not have traumatic effects。But what needs special emphasis is，A very small number of children who grow up in extreme families are likely to be left with psychological trauma。For example, parents completely neglected their emotions during childhood、Abuse (physical abuse、Mental abuse, etc.) will cause serious damage to the individual's social and psychological abilities，It can even cause individuals to suffer from mental illness。Therefore，What urgently needs social attention are the children of these extreme native families，Provide them with timely psychological assistance、Treatment of psychological trauma，Prevent them from harming themselves or harming others。

　　Cultural and social factors behind the original bet365 champions league model

No matter good or bad，The original bet365 champions league model is not isolated、sporadic，Both the emotional involvement and the discipline methods in the parenting style are not entirely determined by the parents’ wishes，It is the result of being shaped and restricted by factors such as culture and social structure。

In terms of emotional involvement，Middle Ages Europe believed in the "theory of original sin"，Believe that people are born sinful，So children do not deserve the love of their parents。China also has the view of children that "a loving mother often loses her son"。In today’s culture, we advocate the concept of “unconditional love” for children，Even in the one-child culture, six adults surround one child to dote on them。Also，From the perspective of evolutionary psychology，All psychological and behavioral characteristics of an individual are for the purpose of survival and reproduction。Living in turbulent or impoverished families，Quick decisions of “quantity and quality” are often adopted, such as “selecting and raising more children”，Parents may prioritize the allocation of limited resources to those who are more likely to survive、Healthier、Children with more development prospects，Thus unconsciously forming a phenomenon of unfairness within the bet365 champions league。In this kind of bet365 champions league，The number of children dilutes the emotional involvement of parents，Emotional involvement may be very lacking especially for children who are not selected。In families with a stable and prosperous living environment，It will form a "slow decision" to improve genetic quality，They will give their children more resources、More love and encouragement。So the method and degree of emotional involvement that parents adopt is not entirely their independent choice，Also shaped by culture and social environment。

　For discipline methods，Sociologists discovered，bet365 champions league from different social classes not only attach great importance to education when it comes to raising their children、Differences in academic counseling abilities and home-school relationship，And it also follows different cultural logic。For example, bet365 champions league from middle group families have habits due to their own professional characteristics，Adopt more "self-directed" personality cultivation orientation，Pay more attention to cultivating children’s creativity、Curiosity、Quality such as independence and self-control in dealing with things，Encourage and praise when things happen、Discipline children through democratic consultation and reasoning and persuasion；bet365 champions league from families with lower status groups often emphasize the orientation of "obeying external authority"，valuing obedience、Observe the discipline、Honesty、Personal qualities such as neatness，At the same time, you will use more commands when dealing with your children、Methods of punishment and rejection。At the same time，On the training strategy，Families in the middle group tend to adopt collaborative cultivation methods，Plannedly arrange for children to participate in various organized formal activities，Such as sports and recreational activities，Less time to watch TV and play freely，Active intervention in children’s growth、Careful planning，Want to control the entire growth process as much as possible。Children from families with lower status groups are in a state of natural growth，After school time is mainly allowed to play freely。Although there may not be absolute advantages and disadvantages，But these differences reflect the different ways of thinking and ideas of different groups，This also leads to obvious differences in the discipline behavior patterns of different groups of native families。

　　Get out of the trouble of your original bet365 champions league

Current concerns about the original bet365 champions league，Strengthening society’s attention to children’s mental state，Prevent the new generation of parents from using extreme parenting methods to cause psychological trauma to children，But it is never advisable to overgeneralize and exaggerate the role of the bet365 champions league of origin。Most families of origin are not decisive for a person’s development，Many factors will also have an important impact。For example, entering school，Teachers become children’s “second parents”；In adolescence，The effect of companions is increasingly significant，This will make up for the bad original bet365 champions league。After adulthood，Although getting along with your partner may resemble the original bet365 champions league model，But it is more likely that partners will form some new intimate relationship patterns，If handled properly, you will get the feeling of love again、Learning to love、Give love a chance。

People are not passive recipients of the environment，But an active agent of destiny。How to face the bet365 champions league of origin，More depends on the role of "I"。The inspiration of psychotherapy is，Treatment does not necessarily require external intervention，If the individual is aware of the trauma，Corresponding psychological problems can also be cured by themselves。For example，It is not the incident that caused the adverse consequences，It is the individual’s poor perception of the event that leads to adverse consequences。Su Mingyu in the TV series "Everything is Good" felt that her parents did not buy review materials for herself when she was a child (A)，So I don’t have to be responsible for my parents (C1)，Generally we will think that event A caused result C1，But in fact it may be the belief (B1) that the parents do not love themselves that leads to the result C1。If you can find new beliefs，As if my father loves me，Because he has no money (B2)，Or the mother’s education level is limited，I didn’t realize the importance of review materials to me (B3)，New non-destructive results may occur。Many adverse effects of native families are caused by bad perceptions。If you appropriately change the way you understand people and things，You can get out of the shadow of your original bet365 champions league。

The discussion about the bet365 champions league of origin is useful，Let us realize more clearly that the bet365 champions league environment needs to be managed，Clear what kind of parenting model is preferable。We should look at the bet365 champions league of origin more rationally，Although the influence of the original bet365 champions league cannot be underestimated，But it’s never all negative。The previous generation was limited by their times，Putting all the problems to our parents is not helpful in solving the problems，And it’s extremely unfair。Besides, think about it carefully，We will also find that our shining points often have the shadow of our parents。Establish a healthy view of the native bet365 champions league，Rational analysis、Reflect on yourself often、Active solution is the attitude we should have when facing problems；Let yourself grow、Make peace with yourself，Be the best parent in your child’s bet365 champions league of origin，This is the only choice to get rid of the troubles of the original bet365 champions league。

　　(Author’s affiliation: Department of Sociology, Fudan University；Department of bet365 champions league, Fudan University)