Why do many parents be embarrassed to raise children? To cultivate excellent children，What ability do parents need? Different from the previous social model，Today's era，As parents, we bring children more happiness or incredible pain?

A harmonious family，But always full of contradictions。A family relationship without venting space，It's like dancing a dance that does not contact others，can only be turned around。When we must face various problems in intimate relationships，Home treatment is particularly important。How to improve the imbalance of family functions，Reasonable family treatment，"Disappearing Father published in January 2021、Anxious mother and out of control children "discussed this issue。

The author of the book is a professor of Psychology at the Department of Psychology of William Mary College in the United States。It is time to come out，It becomes a classic reading book in the field of family therapy。The book tells the story of the story，​​Let readers have a clearer understanding of family treatment，Both the reference of case research for professionals，It can also allow ordinary readers to read back to the province by reading，Re -build a harmonious home system structure bet365 live casino games and a harmonious family atmosphere。

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Family treatment was born in the 1950s，Professor of Psychiatry, Professor of Psychiatry, University of Wisconsin, use curiosity and exploration spirit，Open this brand -new door with extraordinary courage and wisdom as a clinical psychology。Family treatment theory of another way，Pioneering a completely different world。This theory thinks，solving problems does not need to be analyzed in depth of individuals，Just change the interaction between him and the people around him，can open the unheard of common sense。

The book clearly and vividly shows a complex process of family treatment: the whole family is sitting in a room at the same time，Receive psychological treatment together。The author stands outside the unidirectional mirror，contact the unruly children from a sharp perspective，Also see a partner who lacks tacit understanding，Find the truth behind family relationships in their interaction。

During the entire treatment process，Readers can completely understand the psychological problems of a family member，Not only related to its family，It also has many associations with other problems hidden behind it。The book mentioned in the book，For everyone in the conflict，It is difficult to not be blamed，It is more difficult to put it outside。The secret to family treatment lies in exploring irrelevant issues，The inner connection bet365 live casino games between the quarrel between family members and the overall structure of the family。

One of the roots of family discomfort is the attitude of parents。In the book，The Sarassar who participated in the treatment，Rebellion of Jen Sen, a teenage son，originated from the mother’s possessiveness and the cold alienation of the father。such family relationship，Shape family members into stereotypes。Mother 唠 叨，It seems like a housekeeper; my father only cares about his career，Being out of the incident; the child becomes more and more rebellious。Long this time，Complicated intimate connections between family relations gradually blurred。Therefore，The author emphasizes，Be sure to establish a hierarchical system in family relations。Both parents must assume responsibility at the same time，Do not have only one parent who goes all out to be responsible for the child's support work，And another parent is always freely in the edge state。Should not fight alone，but it should be difficult to be the same。

Another source of family discomfort is the problem of husband and wife relationship。In the marriage relationship，Because husbands and wives who live together should face several issues，Between husband and wife should learn to adapt to each other and have emotional boundaries。The 1950s，Anthropologist、Communicating scholars and psychiatrists discover it in constant observation，bet365 live casino games The onset of patients with schizophrenia is closely related to their parents' marriage conflict。In real life，As long as the parents have a fierce quarrel，Some children will develop onset，They treat their illness as a fire extinguisher that maintains the stable family。Ecosystems discovered by these studies and biologists，and the inspiration of Xiangkexiangbian，The concept of home system comes from this。The author mentioned in the book，Intimate partners often encounter the same problem -the division of personal boundaries。There are two levels of this boundary，One is emotional，One is emotional。Human beings have two major needs: the need to keep distance from others，Demand for connecting with others。Many times，The reason why the many pains caused by the husband and wife are after forming a new family，They still maintain the lifestyle of their parents' homes。Most close partners always habitually blame the problem to the other party，In fact, the two parties only have continuous efforts and adaptation，can we operate a good marriage，Education for children。

　　Family treatment cannot stay away from the source of emotional emotional.

In some people's living conditions，The relationship between husband and wife is getting alienated，Parent -child relations sword tension，Mother、A complex triangle problem formed between children and father。A ant in the hot pot，Inner bet365 live casino games anxiety。Only adjust and treat family relationships，Only the individual and the environment are properly returned，can everyone be in the most suitable position，Only with each other can be more free and closer。

Freud once proposed，There is a conflict between the original needs in personal subconscious and social life。Its pioneer research has formed a basic understanding of psychotherapy。Family treatment must solve the problem from the source。Freud always strongly emphasizes the inner motivation status of everyone in the family。That is，In the family system，The relationship between each person is traction。

The author mentioned in the book，To explore the emotional boundary between husband and wife，Explore their running -in and adaptation; to understand the guidance principles of marriage relationship is mutual benefit; understand the adaptation and boundary behind the marriage relationship，Putting down the past，No longer worry about the incomplete future。Another，Be sure to learn，Invisible education actually determines the rules of the family，and the family structure determines the family's interactive mode。Healthy families have three major features，These three characteristics are clear boundaries、Level structure and flexibility。

Inside a healthy family，There should be a clear boundary between members，And learn to respect everyone’s uniqueness。There is bet365 best casino games power level and obvious intergenerational differences in the family。Most of the leadership power is in the hands of parents。As long as most parents learn to formulate rules，Children can benefit from it。But there is an important guiding principle for formulating rules，That is to allow children to learn lessons from the results of behavior，instead of using rules，Weaken the authority of the parents。In order to adapt to changes in the life cycle，Interpersonal boundaries need to be adjusted，So，Family characters are both clear，It's flexible again。When the child is young，Parents need to pay unconditional patience and tender love; when the child grows up,，Parents must learn to control and guide。Change must start with family reconstruction，Joint responsibility for breeding。

Family is a complex and vivid system，With the advancement of society，The people's desire for mental health is increasingly rising，Native family consciousness is increasingly awake。Farators are parents first，No longer happy and relaxed middle -aged couple，Parenting issues become the top priority in life，Urgent need to solve。In each complete family story，All contains many factors，Face the child's growth，Our life is also full of endless challenges。Road tortuous and far away，Find the most effective way to improve family relationships，Create a new operation mode，is bet365 best casino games the most effective solution。

　(The author is Deputy President of Renmin University of China Press)